I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i've created a new STD.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
