Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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