she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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