I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
