I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
