Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
