Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
