Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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