Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
