I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So. Much. Porn.
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