If that was your dad, he is hot
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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