If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
