i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Randomize
