Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize