Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
