My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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