im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
