I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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