I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
