just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
