I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
