i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize