i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
