I'm so fucking centered right now
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
where am i from again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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