I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
