Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
