My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize