Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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