thus making me awesome and them whores
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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