what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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