think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
