I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
