She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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