I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
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I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
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there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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