You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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