Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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