Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
too bad you live with your parents still
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Randomize
