Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
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