her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
