So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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