i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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