Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize