ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
