he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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