look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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