just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
