I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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