I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
