Your face is a jimmy john
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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