you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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