I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
