so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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