You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
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