dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize