I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
