please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize