my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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