so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
