Plan B is the new Plan A
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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