You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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