It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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