Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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