Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
