thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize