If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
